So the sunshine? What's that all about? Well, with a few exceptions I'll explain later, life is going along allright. I'm not so depressive anymore. People told me that it would get better, and truthfully, I Did Not believe them. "How could life get better?" I wondered quite often. I think (and I've said this before) that life really isn't getting better, I'm just forgetting what it was like, so to my new and (i guess) improved baseline, life seems to be getting better. I have alot of cool adaptive stuff... the van, handcycle, standframe, this bitchin' mattress, new hardwood floors... I'd imagine if I was to get injured while in The Military, I would not have been treated this well. So I try not to bitch too much.
My back ('cource) is constantly screaming at me, but again, the current pain level is becoming the new baseline... So it's just 'normal for me' It's always there, but I don't notice it sometimes, unless I do something stupid which brings it to the front of my mind.
Yes, life still sucks quite a bit, but as I forget what I once had it sucks a little less. Sad, but better for my sanity, I guess.

There is one thing that's really been bummin' me out these last few days. Truthfully, had it not been for the afore mentioned comments from a few females I'd prolly be really unhappy right now. What's up? Ok, here's the story. Remember that extra cool server i've got in my closet? Well, it's become comon knowledge I have it, along with two more. Anyway, when I got them, they had live operating systems on them. The Origional operating system they had while in service up at FRC, the college where I bought them. Now apparently, cretain people became worried about the data that may or may not have been contained on these servers. Student data, grades and such, apparently. Not that I cared, because the operating system was Windows NT4, and while not all that secure, I do not have the time nor the inclination to 'break in'. It's easier to overwrite that operating system with the same or better (Windows XP). Then all the data which was on the computer would have been gone, again, I didn't care, I didn't want to know what it was anyway.
That was not to be however. You see, a few individuals realised this potential security breach had happened, and asked me if they could send someone over to wipe the drives. Sure, I said, not caring if the data was there or not, I just wanted the hardware, so I could turn it to my own uses. So a guy came over, and deleted the NTFS partition on the hard drive. I watched 'im, and when he was done all looked good, and he left.
Here begins the problem. You see, that server contains a RAID array which it uses for storage. Once the NTFS partition was deleted, the device driver for the said RAID aray dissappeared. So now, when I try to install an operating system, none of them can find the array, so they can't find a place to put themselves on the computer, and the install fails. I have tried Windows NT 4 server and workstation, XP, 2000 Advanced Server, Linux Beowulf, and Red Hat. Nothing worked. I asked and recieved a little advice from a guy, we'll call him 'Super Dave'... I got the right driver, I think, and he told me how to install it. Now, realise I'm so feeling my way in the dark here, as I've never worked on a machine like this one before, but even with help, I can't figure it out.
So, by being a nice guy and letting someone come over and mess with a piece of equipment which was sold "As Is Where Is", I now have a broken computer which is beyond my knowledge to repair. And that kinda pisses me off. Alot. So, as you can imagine, I've become exponentially uninterested in letting anyone near the other two machines I bought. I can wipe the drives all by myself, should I decide it's necesary. It's not like there's friggin NSA type stuff on there. Even if there is, I still retain my Military Security Clearance, so you're all safe.
I don't know how long it's going to take me to 'fix' that server. I was all excited when I got it, but had I known it would turn into this many headed nightmare I would have left it sitting right there on the table at that auction. It would have been one thing if it was a dead box when I bought it. But it wasn't. So now I've got a fuckin' soup sandwich sitting there in the closet. I'm so unexcited about doing anything with it at this point that I bet if you ask in about a month, the answer will be "Nope, haven't touched it".

Sigh. See? that's how life is for me now. A few shiny things happen, some 'made my day' type comments, life is going fairly well. Then I find myself minding my own business and fall over a friggin speed bump. All I need is something else to screw around with trying to make it work.