When I went up to Bridgeport after a girl asked me a question: "Do you think you'll ever be alright with it?" ( meaning the whole wheelchair action thing)
Um.... No.
You see, everything I knew and did up untill two-and-a-half, three years ago had to do with two things: Legs working, and Outside. I hated to be inside. Days off I was out in the woods cutting firewood, gold panning, hiking, whatever. I know all the names of the trees... The bushes... The creatures- WHich ones bite or hide and where you might find them.. The structure of the wood inside the trees.. Which ones you can twiddle to make land somewhere and which ones will just break off when you least expect it..
Even in the winter. School and snowboarding. Hiking, if there wasn't 20 feet of snow everywhere and sometimes not even that stopped me.

So no, I won't ever get over that part.. Pretty much if it's not paved now, I can't go.

It's days like today when I wonder how long I'm going to make it. I've had greatly increased spasms lately- I think because I burned the shit out of my feet over memorial day- Driving down to Laguna IHC Nikki was driving, I crawled over into the passenter's side to sleep- put my feet up on the firewall and proceded to BBQ my feet for a few hours. The burns are scabbed up now, but they pull and split, and even tho I can't feel it my legs do and start the sewing-machine, pitching me forward and out of the chair.

Both of my shoulders are very painfull. I'm laying in bed right now... Have been since 7. I don't want to move anymore, as my shoulders hurt too much. They're all I have left- If they fail I won't be able to move anymore, even with a powerchair. How am I supposed to get in and out of bed by myself? I'm tempted to go in for more manual therapy, but I think it's time for something orthopedic this time. The pain just keeps coming back- There is the manual therapist guy here in Chico, but he's not anywhere near as good as the lady at Craig, but she deals with us every day. I don't know how many para's the guy here's seen but it can't be alot.

So OWCP doesn't want to spend (I dunno) 40 bucks a week or so to have someone come in and help me out around the house. They will pay for "personal care" (wiping my ass and such) but I don't need that. Try this: Get your vacuum cleaner and sit in a wheeled office type chair. Put 1 foot on the floor and one on a chair leg. Try to vacuum your carpet. You can't push the vacuum without screwing up your placement of the chair... It's very anoying and takes an enormous amount of time.
So I asked for a powerchair. It's been approved and is being built as I type. They're gonna spend 6 thousand dollars to save 40 a week. 'Cource I'll use the powerchair for other stuff, but it's mostly for helping me help myself around the house.

So I'm just waiting for OWCP to figure out crews are reimbursing me for coming to talk to them, and to take what I have been given so far. They'll call it "Income" I'm sure. And try to take it.

Still haven't been paid travel for the trip to Craig last year. Nice huh? "Oh you drove over 500 miles in one day so we're not gonna pay you." Well, had I KNOWN ABOUT THAT, I would have stopped for the night instead of driving 600 miles to a nice hotel.

My legs are beginning to look like those of a bird.. I'd love to get ahold of a FES bike or at the very least a TENS unit to sleep with.. Because I know what's gonna happen. Someday the Doc's will invent something (a href="http://www.worldhealth.net/p/416,1282.html" target="newwindow'>stem cells?) capable of repairing my damage, but my legs will be too skinny to do anything effective. Wouldn't that be great? Yessir! WE can fix that, but you'll STILL never walk again because you're legs are in such bad shape... Yeah, that would be f'in great huh?

So while I can't say the acupuncture was helping a terrible lot or not, it's done. I only had 6 paid sessions. So if it was helping (or not) I don't get it any more. Sure seems like I've been eating more percocets in the last few weeks since.