I've noticed that as I clean a part of the house then wait a few days I notice that it looks like I haven't done anything to that part of the house. It's a bit difficult to keep up with. Over at the snake pit (where I first lived when I moved to town) there's lots of people who are "disabled" and have people who come over and help them. Why don't I get some help like that? Well, I tried to go through the county / state like they had and it turns out I "make" too much money.
We asked OWCP, but all they will cover is "personal care". So if I ever need someone to wipe my ass, sign 'em up, but if I'd like help sweepin' the floor, changing the bed, doin' the dishes, (easy when I can't even see the bottom of the sink) and a myriad of things I once found oh-so-easy.

I've also noticed that I get distracted easily and I can't seem to think things through easily anymore. Can't help but wonder if it's a result of either the pills- Neurontin slows neurotransmission, helping with phantom pain but also causing (I suspect) slower brain function, and we all know what too many narcotics can do to a person. Or a result of the 5th concussion I've sustained so far in this breif life. I was warned after the 4th that I may not survive another...
Guess I did, but...
It is a bit frustrating when I really want to do something, and I end up getting distracted through the day and find myself at the end sitting in bed looking back and saying "what did I do today?..... Nothing worth mentioning.." or the list amounts to something that would have taken me at the most two hours, three years ago. Now it takes so goddamn long to do anything that anything rarely really gets done. 'Least my shoulder and ass weren't killing me today. I guess that's a small victory.

I was playing around with one of my sites today and turned on the "store", so now if I ever get any of the little "projects" I'm developing into a 'for sale' condition, I can sell them. Now if you decide to go look over there, don't get excited... That's the "default" install, so all that shiny stuff's just window dressing. Expect it to look much different when it opens for real.
There may be various seedlings of passionflowers and various tropical fruiting trees along with plans for wheelchair mods and actual honest-to-god firefighting equipment. If I ever get everything done to a level where I can work on those sort of things. I had planned to get on them this summer, but this summer is quickly passing and I haven't gotten to even one. I highly doubt it's going to happen during the school year...
So you might see my frustration... I have been hobbled and handed off to OWCP who now refuses to provide me with any "around the house" type help. I wonder how the people in that office would feel if this happened to them and they were getting the "we won't authorize that" speech I've been getting.

I've been looking for a lawyer capable and willing to deal with Federal work comp cases, but have struck out. I cannot believe there aren't any, but all I get is the pass along and or suggestions that I start working with some "pre-paid" lawyer. 17 bucks a month I think and I can ask him anything on the phone. I doubt if he will be able to help, as I haven't been able to find anyone willing to touch me with any length pole.
So I guess I'm pretty much flying solo here with a broken body and (at least in my perception) a failing mind. I've never been in this situation before and as far as I know I'm the first one. When I asked OWCP for new tires for my chair the last time the lady said "Why?" If the people I'm dealing with over there are that out of touch with my condition, how can I expect to get anything meaningful out of them? If they have such a small idea of what it's like to be alive and like this, how can I expect them to help me?
They haven't a clue. No wonder I can't get any help with the housework, and I get constant denials every time I turn around. I've figured out how some of it works tho... There's OWCP who authorizes stuff, and this place "ACS" who pays for it. ACS is a private company hired by the feds to handle such things apparently. Anyway, if it's not authorized, it doesn't get paid. So now every time I *need* something like (for example) new wheelchair tires I have to go ask "mom" and hope. If "she" says no, then I don't get it. Period. That's why I'm doing the lawyer search- In the hope that he / she / whatever will have been through something like this before and can tell me what I can / cannot expect. And to force the issue if needed. As it is now if someone in the OWCP office says "no" then that's the end of it.

So...... I'm gonna watch some X Files (maybe they'll solve my case..lol..) eat some lychee nuts and (hopefully) fall 'sleep.