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I've had 9 percocets today and 1500 milligrams of neurontin. Still hurt just as much as when I awoke thismorning. Right now I'm feeling so slow I prolly can't even spell my name/ Today sucked. I hurt so bad and I don't know why. It's the same burning i felt early on in my left arm while the feeling was coming back ass the brachiel nervs grew back together. That took about two months for it to go away enough that I could have a sheet on my arm at night while I slept. So I hope it is feeling coming back but I dread the lengh of time I'll need to be in this much pain as it happens. coz tyhat's really gonna suck.I don't think there's enough painkiller in the world to get through something like this. 'Cource how does one test to see if feeling is comu=ing back when one cannot feel anything?

So i pretty much have enough painkiller in me right now to put anyone else in the hospital in resperatory failure and yet here I am in bed perfectly alive with every nerve ending in my lower body screaming bloody murder. So now I know all percocet does with this kind of pain is make me too stupid to do a whole hell of a lot.Nothing kills the pain but sleep and all I ever get of that is about 3 or 4 hours at a stretch. So I'm awake most of the time and you know what that means. My teeth hurt from holding my jaw shut. from squishing my teeth together against the pain. Oh fun fun fun.

So I'm zoomin' around today trying to do stuff (like cleanin' the house a little) and I kept thinking of Mike Hooker the OWCP purse-string holder sitting at his desk with his NO stamp waiting for me to ask for someone to come over and help me again. So I'm gonna ask my doctor to write me something up on friday when I go in to see him and maybe write something myself t osend along as well. I'll prolly end up shooting myself in the foot with said writing but at least I won't feel it i guess, and when the request gets denied I won't be any further behind than I already am. Annoys me tho when I mention that I'd like some help to almost anyone they say ":Well you should get some." The lady in wound care told me thismorning that I do more than 90% of the people she sees who are in the same condition as I am. Lifted my spirits a bit for the morning, too bad that feeling sisn't last as the pain copntinued to shine through during the day.

So now I'm going to go to sleep and hope I don't have to deal with this same thing tomorrow. Bet I get to tho.

Everyone who was there that day in Ky has forgotten. But I live it again every day. The guy who lit the fire prolly doesn't even remember where he was and what he did that day. I still wish I'd said "screw it" and missed the roll, that's for sure.

In other news, one of my Passiflora Quadrangularis vines is in bloom. Check it out:

Sweet huh?

Want one? I've got cuttings, make me an offer plus shipping for a 2 pound package from 95926.

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